Hey guys, im back with a new post! Hehe :p
My last entry was in april and its june now.. AND ITS THE FIFTH OF RAMADHAN GUYSSSS!!!!!!!!!! Alhamdulillah we still got the chance to meet with this wonderful month! I hope you guys are celebrating this ramadhan with your beloved ones & don't waste this opportunity to let yourself to gain lots of pahala and bring yourself closer to Allah swt. In this month also where our doas can be granted, insyaAllah, so for all my fellow SPM candidates, don't forget to make a lot of prayers & solat hajat! Jangan sibuk study je wey.
This year's ramadhan is the first time my family and I celebrate it without nenek. It hasn't been a year yet since arwah nenek passed away. The third day of ramadhan I had iftar at my atuk's house because my mom can't get home in time. It was so different, the iftar that day was so emotional, for me. But I'm sure my atuk and my brother felt it too. My sibs and I always had iftar at my grandparent's house since we started to learn to fast. Arwah nenek always cooks the best foods. But one day, she felt sick (because she got old and had some common diseases like kencing manis, darah tinggi etc) and she doesnt have much energy. I remembered when she sat on a chair in the kitchen and tought my atuk all of her recipes from the sambal to the kuih that she always made because she doesn't have the energy to cook anymore. I found it very funny and cute to see my atuk got mad by her if he makes mistakes hahaha. Arwah nenek tought him very well, atuk's cooking is 100% copy of hers. As a kid, arwah nenek was my bestfriend, she took care of me, my sibs and my cousins so well. We always played at her house. Mandi ramai ramai dalam kolam, lepastu lapar, nenek bawak nasi + telur + kicap, ya Allah, that was the most classy food ever for us that time. Then, semua beratur, nenek suap sorang sorang hahaha. Arwah nenek was so kind, she never scold us or anything, selalu kena marah dengan atuk je hehehe. As we grew older, takde dah main sama sama macam dulu, and nenek pun selalu sakit. Since I was 12 if I'm not mistaken, arwah nenek asyik keluar masuk hospital je, I dont know how many times, I lost count. The last time she got into the hospital was last year, malam Aidil Adha, just because she can't stop caughing, I thought everything will be fine, batuk je...but then I dont know what happened, atuk said nenek tak sedarkan diri. The day I went to visit her, on Aidil Adha, there were wires everywhere, macam dekat dalam icu tu. Nurses come and go, checked on her every minute. She was unconscious, didn't had the chance to talk to her at all. I just looked at her from a distance, with all the wires on her, I felt sorry for her. Its not her fist time, but I thought to myself, sampai bila nenek nak keluar masuk hospital, its been years. And then that night, I was ready to go to sleep, it's almost 12 midnight, and then my mom knocked on my door asked me to get ready to go to the hospital, something was wrong with nenek. Only Allah knows how fast my heart beats that night, hoping that nothing will happen to nenek & everything will be fine. I kept thinking of positive thoughts but I'm so worried I can't help it and I cried silently all the way to the hospital. My little sister was asleep, I didn't get to see nenek because I was taking care of my sister in the car. Only my mon & my brother went into the hospital to see her. I waited for almost an hour. It was torture. I saw my mom & my brother coming back to the car, my hearts just beats so fast & I cried more and more as I saw my mom was in tears. My brother came into the car and he said "nenek dah takde.."
Ya Allah, replaying this moment in my head just made me cry...I just can't believe that she already left us. And I didn't had a chance to talk to her.
Alfatihah.
Allah sayang nenek. Semoga nenek tenang dekat sana, dah bertahun nenek lawan macam macam penyakit, masa nenek untuk rehat pulak. Rindu dekat nenek takkan hilang. Sempat nenek ajar buat ketupat palas masa puasa tahun lepas, nenek kata kalau nenek dah takde nanti boleh iya (my nickname hehe) tolong atuk, ganti nenek. Nenek macam dah tahu je nenek nak pergi. Tahun lepas sempat kita raya sama sama, nenek senyum macam nenek lah orang paling bahagia dekat dunia.
Terima kasih Allah, terima kasih sebab pinjamkan nenek. She's a wonderful person.
P/s:
Appreciate everyone in your life, treat them like tomorrow is their last day.
